Dear Lexy,
I remember the day we first met. It was a typical work day for me, like any other or so I thought. This cute pup came tearing out of a back room right up to me and put one paw on my thigh, and tucked her muzzle in the crook of my neck; A greeting that surpassed all greetings, as if you had been waiting for me. After we met, I watched as other people entered and left to see if you did the same to them.. You were disinterested in their comings and goings.
You placed footprints in my heart during that first meeting of ours. I could not leave you there. I called everyone I could to try and find you a home. It did not occur to me that you were mine. After all, I was a single business woman living in a “dog-less” apartment; I couldn’t have a dog….. Could I???
Only a couple of days went by before I realized no one would take you, because you belonged with me. I was terrified of you and all the training you needed… After all, I’ve never seen a dog that did not know how to keep their balance in a car or how to walk upstairs, over thresholds, sidewalks, just about anything you can think of. You were afraid of your own shadow, cowered at the sight of men, hats, gloves, bugs, the edge of rugs, and barked whenever I left you. The first day together was difficult, reduced to tears I didn’t think I could handle training you all by myself. Luckily the universe sent us an ally, my childhood friend Deidra came for an unexpected visit. You left an impression on her as you did when you first met me. Deidra calmed me down, made me a heavy drink and the three of us hung out and had the first of many family nights together… And, thanks to Deidra who threatened me and said, “You are keeping this dog, she is yours, you are hers and she is good for you” we made our life commitments to each other that night when you fell asleep in my arms.
Training wasn’t easy, but we did it together, you training me and my training you. It seemed we were constantly evolving. Your ability to communicate with me grew and grew. We spent more time together than I ever imagined. We worked and played together and talked all day long.. People would look at me like I was crazy when they would hear me telling you what we were doing or where we were going days in advance or would give you three commands in the middle of sentence; and then they would look at us even crazier when they realized you knew exactly what I was saying. I once started a list of all the words and phrases you came to know. I stopped when I was approaching 300 and decided I should just wait for you to start talking one day…
You amazed me at all the people you touched.. Sitting at the beach one day, you were in the distance playing and a couple walked down the beach pointing at you with a smile. “There she is” the woman exclaimed. “There’s Lexy!” I was puzzled and got up to get closer to you and the couple. As I approached you ran up to them and greeted them like old friends… The woman then explained to me that you were their favorite dog on the beach, and they would try and find you each weekend they were there, just to say hi. I smiled wide and deep, there were so many dogs on the beach, what a wonderful thing they realized how special you were.
I remember the day you found Mazy and Milo, they were helpless little kittens too young to be away from their mother. You were just a pup and when you found them, instead of chasing or playing with them you brought me to them. They have such a wonderful life and have brought so much joy to their family because of you. They would have died that day unattended if you had not found them.
Thank you for looking after Sox and for coming to her aide when she needed backup and for letting me know when she needed me or wanted to come in the house. It took me a while to realize you were not asking to go out, but telling me Sox needed to come in. People are slow, what can I say.. Thank you for tolerating her when she would run between your legs and flick her tail along your chin and for licking her in the face pretending it was a kiss, but I knew you were secretly trying to annoy her.
I will miss so many things about your personality that was pure joy: Making everyone in the room say goodnight to you before you would go up to bed, sticking your head out the window on the stairway-waiting to be greeted before running down for your morning hug, never needing a leash or a fence and always waiting on the perch of the porch to greet us.
Thank you for rescuing me. For showing me what a good mom I could be. For taking me out for walks and on adventures and keeping my spirits up even in the most difficult of times.. Thank you for snuggling me when I needed a hug and for licking my tears when cried. Thank you for being the reason to move on and the reason to keep on.. Thank you for pointing out who were the good guys and who is not worth my time. For protecting me, watching over me and making me feel safe. Thank you for the nights you fell asleep on my chest and wrapped your paw around me; Your snuggles were healing. Thank you for showing your loyalty to me by being a snob when a stranger tried to give you a treat. And for being happy wherever we were, as long as we were together.
Thank you for fighting through your illness and for making it home. Thank you for telling me you wanted to fight. I am grateful for the few healthy months we had together at home after you got sick. Thank you for telling me when it was time to go. It was not my decision it was yours, and I tried my best to respect your wishes through this past year of heartache. Thank you for trusting me to trust you.
Thank you for picking me to be your mom and for making me a better person.
Thank you for all the laughter and pure unconditional love. But most of all, thank you for rescuing me.
Until we meet again, by the yellow flowers…
Love,
Your lifelong companion
